Guilt

As a mummy I constantly feel guilty about certain things; whether I’m giving my boys the best start, am I doing everything too much or too little, am I overly strict or not strict enough. But some of my friends have had terrible times and I feel guilty that I’ve been so lucky. One friend tragically lost her baby at 38 weeks of her pregnancy and another has discovered she has bowel cancer when her little boy is only 15 months old. Whilst I have done nothing to cause either of these situations, I feel guilty that on a regular basis I am not happy and yet I have everything that I ever wanted. It makes me feel that my problems are so pathetic and not important at all and I’m silly for feeling the way I do. How can I complain about my lot in life when I have two gorgeous boys who are happy and healthy. I also feel guilty that I missed about 6 months of child A growing up because I was so ill during my pregnancy with child B and spent most of the time in bed. He’s not going to remember that mummy wasn’t around much because he was only 18 months old but I know and I remember and I wonder how I can ever make it up to him. In discussion with other mummies I find that the guilt of everything hits everyone but the trick is to not let it take over and get you down. You have to accept that feeling guilty is part of being a mummy and use it to make you a better mummy and not stop you. I’m still struggling with this and on days when it really hits me I struggle to keep going. What I always try to remember is that every mother feels guilty about something at some point and I’m not the only one.

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